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Monday, November 30, 2009

A THANKSGIVING AFTER THOUGHT


A Thankful Thanksgiving
by Jim Rohn

You may be wondering why I would call this article a Thankful Thanksgiving. Aren’t all Thanksgivings Thankful? Unfortunately, no. As a person who has experienced over 75 Thanksgivings, I recognize that being thankful is something that we have to work at, even on Thanksgiving.

If your home is like most, your Thanksgiving Day will be very busy, with either traveling to where you want to go or preparing your home to have others over for the day. Either way, that can be very hectic and emotionally trying, which doesn’t lend itself to preparing your heart to be reflective and thankful. In fact, Thanksgiving weekend is the most traveled weekend in America. Airports are full, and don’t always provide much room for contemplation of your good fortune.

This means all the more that if we want to be the kind of people who are characterized by thankfulness, then we must make sure that we focus on it, and not just on Thanksgiving Day, but at all times during the year.

Here are a few key words as well as some thoughts that are simple and practical to apply—something you can use right away in your quest for becoming more thankful:

Time. Set aside time regularly to be quiet, to reflect. We live in the fastest-paced time ever. From the moment we awake to the moment we collapse into bed, we have the opportunity to go at full speed and never slow down. If we schedule time every day in which we can be quiet and reflect, we will free our hearts and minds from the tyranny of the urgent and rushed.

Thought. Give thought to the many blessings you have. Living in a consumer culture, most of us are fully aware of what we do not have and how we absolutely must have “it.” But how often do we reflect upon that which we already have? Take some time each day and think of one or two things that you have that you may typically take for granted, and then take a moment and give thanks for those. In fact, I make it a part of my reflection time to review a list of things that I’m thankful for.

Generosity. Be generous toward those with less and not envious of those with more. We tend to look at others who may be wealthier than ourselves and think, “I sure wish I had what he does.” That kind of thinking breeds envy and jealousy rather than contentment. What can we do to break that cycle? I would suggest being generous to those who are less fortunate than yourself. Go to work at a food bank. And not just during the holidays—everybody works there then—but on a regular basis during the year. That will remind you of how good you really have it.

Ask. Ask a friend what they are thankful for. The next time you are at lunch with a friend, ask him or her what they are most thankful for. You will be amazed at the answers you receive and you will create a meaningful bond with your friends as you focus on this powerful question.

Acknowledge. Lastly, tell those you love how thankful you are for having them in your life. So many times we neglect to take the time to craft the words to express to those closest to us what their presence in our lives means to us. Take the opportunity of Thanksgiving Day to write them a note, or sometime during the day put your hand on their shoulder, look them in the eyes and tell them. Let them know what they mean to you, and in return you’ll begin to create the possibility of deeper, richer, more fulfilling relationships with those you love.

Of course, we should do what we can to make the most of the day we call Thanksgiving, but wouldn’t it be a shame if the only time we reflected on our blessings was that one Thursday in November? And the answer is, of course! So let’s do our best to be aware of the many great gifts that we have each and every day of the year. As we do so we will see our hearts soar and our minds will experience more and more peace as we regularly remember and remain aware of our good fortune.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

5 Dating Tips for Busy People


Whether you are a grad student, a busy executive or a divorced mom, it seems as each year goes by more responsibilities are piled on and the faster time flies. You are starting to wonder whether you will ever find love, and your mom doesn't seem to help matters by reminding you that your biological clock is tiiiiccking. Before you cringe at the thought of fitting in another item on your already over-booked schedule, here is a list that you might find handy when it comes to scheduling time for dating.

1. Follow your blissno matter where you are. We know you have free time somewhere in your busy week—the best way to use it is to turn off the tube and get involved in a club or activity group. If you are traveling on business, don't get out of work till late or have to take care of your kids, try to do an activity that you love every day—even if it is for only 30 minutes. Go to a restaurant that makes your favorite cuisine, go to the gym, to the tennis courts or to the library. You never know who you are going to meet while doing your everyday things, and it's an even bigger plus if they're into the same things you are.

2. Go out! Every opportunity for free time that you do have, take advantage of it and get out there! Even if you're tired, go to your new co-worker's birthday party that's on the other side of town. Read at a café rather than in your living room. You never know who you might bump into and have a life-changing conversation with.

3. Consolidate. Choose events where people you might be interested in would also go. For example, let's say you are invited to two events the same night, but you don't have time to go to both. You know one will be rife with artists, and you like dating artists, so choose that one. If you like dating bankers, choose the happy hour in the financial district.

4. Try online dating. You might have tried online dating before and didn't like it, but keep in mind that it has worked for many people! Right timing, as in most cases, is usually the trick. Plus there are a lot more sites than there once were. You can now find one according to your lifestyle. For example, if you are tired of filling out profiles with the same time-consuming questions, there is now ge.la,to, which brings the life-streaming concept—like that of Facebook—into the world of online dating. Users are matched not by their typed responses, but through similar social networks.

5. Sign up with a matchmaker. You might be thinking "WHAT! In this century?" However, matchmakers are not just relics from the past, says Lisa Clampitt, author of Make Me a Match: The 21st Century Guide to Finding and Using a Matchmaker. She explains that in today's fast-paced world, we engage experts to help us complete our tax forms, find homes and to keep our bodies in shape. So why not seek professional guidance from someone with a broad range of experience when it comes to finding our life partners? Maybe she has a point.